


honks all the way down

by hamifihekrix



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ampora Hate, M/M, One-Sided Relationship [Mention], Sopor Pies, fucking around for like 800 words or whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-03 00:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21170645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamifihekrix/pseuds/hamifihekrix
Summary: hey! thanks for reading my dumb little thing all the way to the end. if you enjoyed this, and would like to get a constant update on whenever i post things [and also my lukewarm takes], my twitter is@hamifihekrix





	honks all the way down

GAMZEE: bRo.  
GAMZEE: HeY bRo.  
GAMZEE: MoThErFuCkIn WaKe Up NoW bRo I hAvE mAd MiRaClEs To MoThErFuCkIn GrAcE yOuR eYeGlObEs WiTh.  
KARKAT: GAMZEE? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT FUCKING TIME IT IS?  
KARKAT: OR IS YOUR THINKPAN TOO WIPED OUT FROM ALL THOSE SHITTY PIES FOR YOU TO EVEN COMPERHEND THE CONCEPT OF TIME??  
GAMZEE: I'm MoThErFuCkInG aLl Up In ThE yEs BrO.  
GAMZEE: aNyWaY lOoK aT wHaT i AlL uP aNd MoThErFuCkIn MaDe FoR yOu BrO. :oD  
KARKAT: IF IT'S ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR FUCKING PIES I'M GOING TO SHOVE MY HAND AS FAR UP YOUR SPINAL CREVICE AS I CAN FIT IT.  
KARKAT: AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY.  
KARKAT: MY TEMPORAL HATE FOR YOU WILL TRAVEL THROUGH MY ARM FROM MY SOUL TO DEEPROOT ITSELF INSIDE OF YOU, WHERE IT WILL GROW LIKE A TUMOUR UNTIL IT EVENTUALLY ENVELOPS YOU FROM THE INSIDE.  
GAMZEE: i DoN't KnOw If ThAt'S hOw EnVeLoPiNg MoThErFuCkInG wOrKs.  
GAMZEE: BuT iF It'Ll MaKe A bRo HaPpY wHo Am I tO dEnY hIm ThAt MoThErFuCkIn RiGhT yOu KnOw.  
KARKAT: JEGUS CHRIST, DON'T BEND DOWN LIKE THAT, YOU'RE EMBARRASING YOURSELF.  
KARKAT: I WASN'T BEING SERIOUS, I JUST NEEDED TO MAKE SURE THAT IT WAS REALLY FUCKING CLEAR THAT I'M *NOT* GOING TO BE HAPPY IF YOU'VE WOKEN ME UP THIS EARLY IN THE FUCKING MORNING JUST TO SHOW OFF ONE OF YOUR PIES  
KARKAT: I MEAN, SHIT, WE'VE ONLY BEEN ON THIS METEOR FOR A COUPLE HUMAN DAYS OR SOMETHING.  
KARKAT: YOU'VE SENT ME ENOUGH MESSAGES ABOUT HOW PROUD YOU ARE OF YOURSELF OR WHATEVER FOR ME TO KNOW WHAT YOUR *FUCKING PIES LOOK LIKE*!!  
GAMZEE: WeLl ShUcKs.  
GAMZEE: NoW i'M mOtHeRfUcKiN eMbArRaSeD.  
GAMZEE: i DiDn'T bRiNg YoU aNy PiEs. :o(  
GAMZEE: I hAd OnE i WaS gOnNa MoThErFuCkIn BrInG WiTh Me BuT i MoThErFuCkInG fOrGoT.  
GAMZEE: i'M sOrRy BrO, i KnOw HoW mUcH yOu LoVe My PiEs.  
KARKAT: GAMZEE, I WOULD RATHER WIPE MY ASS WITH MY BARE HAND THAN EAT THE DISGUSTING SLOP OF GREEN ACIDIC SLUDGE YOU CALL "PIE".  
KARKAT: THE FACT THAT YOU CAN'T SEEM TO FIT THAT INTO THE TINY HOLE IN YOUR EVEN TINIER THINKPAN PROVES TO ME THAT OUR MOIRAILGENCE IS A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT CREATED BY SOME EGOTISTICAL ASSHOLE WHO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THEIR OWN CONCEPTS.  
GAMZEE: Aw DoN't Go MoThErFuCkIn SpOuTiNg ThAt NoNsEnCe BrO!  
GAMZEE: wE'rE tHe BeSt MoThErFuCkIn PaLe BrOs To EvEr PaLe. :o)  
KARKAT: DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A FUCKING PALE RELATIONSHIP IS?? DO YOU KNOW THE RULES ON WHAT YOU CAN AND CAN'T DO????  
KARKAT: YOU SEEM TO THINK THAT TALKING TO ME WHEN I'M ANGRY AND BEING A POSITIVE INFLUENCE OVER MY THOUGHTS ON MYSELF COUNTS AS BEING MY PALEMATE, *WHICH IT ABSOLUTELY DOES FUCKING NOT!!*  
GAMZEE: ArE yOu SuRe MoThErFuCkEr?  
GAMZEE: ThAt'S aBoUt HoW mY bEsT fIsHbRo ErIdAn DeScRiBeD hIs MoThErFuCkIn PaLeNeSs To Me SoMe MoThErFuCkIn TiMe AgO.  
KARKAT: ERIDAN DOESN'T KNOW JACKSHIT ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, AND THE MISCONCEPTION THAT HE DOES IS ALREADY GIVING HIM FAR MORE CREDIT THAN HE DESERVES.   
GAMZEE: hAhA mAyBe YoU'rE aLl TrEnCh DeEp In BeInG rIgHt.  
GAMZEE: I jUsT gEt ThE mOtHeRfUcKiN vIbEs ThAt We'Re AlL uP iN tHe RoMaNtIc MiRaClEs.  
GAMZEE: I cAn FeEl It In My MoThErFuCkIn BoNeS.  
GAMZEE: :o)  
KARKAT: THE AMOUNT OF PIE YOU EAT MAKES ME WORRIED THAT YOU EVEN HAVE BONES AT THIS FUCKING POINT.  
GAMZEE: aW yOu'Re WoRrIeD aBoUt Me BrO?  
KARKAT: ANYONE WITH A WORKING THINKPAN WOULD WORRY ABOUT YOU.  
KARKAT: YOUR LACK OF A WORKING THINKPAN IS WHAT MAKES OTHER WORRY ABOUT YOU SO MUCH!!  
GAMZEE: bUt YoU'rE tHe FiRsT mOtHeRfUcKeR tO gO sTrAiGhT mOtHeRfUcKiN oUt AnD SaY iT.  
KARKAT: R... REALLY?  
GAMZEE: hElL yEaH mAn!! :oD  
KARKAT: GAMZEE I DON'T... I DON'T THINK THAT'S SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE.  
KARKAT: I THINK THAT'S ACTUALLY REALLY FUCKING DEPRESSING.  
KARKAT: DO YOU WANT LIKE... A HUG OR SOMETHING?  
GAMZEE: AlL tHe TiMe! HuGs ArE tHe MoSt MoThErFuCkIn MiRtHfUl MiRaClE oF AlL bRo.  
KARKAT: STOP TALKING SO I CAN KEEP FEELING BAD ABOUT YOU.  
GAMZEE: FeEl BaD fOr Me?  
GAMZEE: WhY wOuLd YoU mOtHeRfUcKiN dO tHaT?  
GAMZEE: HaNgInG oUt WiTh My BeSt MoThErFuCkIn BrO aNd HaViNg ThE bEsT mOtHeRfUcKiN tImE oF mY lIfE.  
GAMZEE: lIfE iS fIlLeD wItH mIrAcLeS lIkE tHaT sOmEtImEs.  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD COULD YOU STOP FLIRTING FOR FIVE MINUTES.  
GAMZEE: FlIrTiNg? :o(  
KARKAT: YES!! YOU'RE SO OBVIOUSLY PINING OVER ME, IT'S HARD TO LOOK AT IF I'M BEING HONEST.  
GAMZEE: HaHa I tHiNk YoU nEeD tO dO sOmE mAd SeLf DiScOvErY bRo.  
GAMZEE: I'm FlIrTiNg AbOuT aS mUcH aS tHeSe PiEs ArE gOiNg To NoT bE eAtEn.  
KARKAT: WHAT??  
KARKAT: ACTUALLY, I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO FUCKING QUESTION IT.  
KARKAT: THIS CONVERSATION IS GETTING DULL. WE SHOULD GO DO SOMETHING ELSE BEFORE I INSERT MY BULGE DOWN MY OWN THROAT AND CHOKE MYSELF TO DEATH.  
GAMZEE: HeH wHaTeVeR yOu SaY mOtHeRfUcKeR.

**Author's Note:**

> hey! thanks for reading my dumb little thing all the way to the end. if you enjoyed this, and would like to get a constant update on whenever i post things [and also my lukewarm takes], my twitter is [@hamifihekrix](https://twitter.com/hamifihekrix)


End file.
